his in silhouette

“from afar, I saw you watching me through my broken window, you know I’m helpless...struggling to fit in, to make a step, and tears started cascading; I know you’ll always be there, I saw your footprints, still we’re afar, and I know I’m much safer beside the moon tonight because when I am a silhouette, I have no fear”

I found myself wrapped in darkness and mounted upon the lighter contrast of background, and here I am, seeing myself. It is the best sight that I ever seen, me in silhouette.

“Picture speaks thousand words” -- therefore silhouette does speaks differently, as it is a mystery that need to be deciphered regardless it is a scene consisting of outline and a featureless interior.

The world belongs to everyone, and everyone in there is in silhouette. The world become brighter by image when we break the ice, - the silhouette fading and become clearer, from where the shape and outline maintain still, features embedded and colours translate – become a world of familiar.

Inspired from true story, which all emotional still intact and yet fresh from sobriety,

I said “let me write, and let you read”...and
You said. “Lets it always be his in silhouette”...


His in silhouette

“Open I and you can see a broken gallery, don’t bother because it can’t be fix”, Once. I said to myself. I looked at the key pendant that locks all history.
Out there, the world promises nothing. Without anyone notice, maybe – here goes my story, where two worlds shared laughter, cries and secrets.

It was a lonely night and rain poured.

Nothing changed accept that eagerness to look forward on what will be served on table tomorrow by destiny. Without any moment of postponed, life started to kick out – gave shots of excitement. Through the wonders of spider crawl and waving with threads of electric plug, I met someone online. Interesting eh? Well...

It’s lasted for few hours, and both decided to call the day off without any string attached.

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Days passed, as I have no close to any intention to get to know someone, particularly letting stranger into my world where I always kept it safe. But that says me! Thing happens reversed. I let that stranger in...Yet I was thinking, I should open up and gave it a try.

As time passed by, both now were mutual, though both from a total different world and yes “opposite attracts”. And I believe that, the stranger and I, like each other as companion. Hair grows, plants grow, and everything nourished as time goes by.

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The valentine

As clearly as I recall, it was Friday. Cupid had to worked double shift, and Chinese were celebrating their festive. It was Chinese New year cum valentine. The town was a dead town. All shops were closed as the Chinese majority conquered the cash flow world.

Flawless, I thought it would be lonely yet I was wronged – I have the stranger. Supposedly the stranger need to attend a wedding at Pontianak, Indonesia, however the stranger canceled maybe because the stranger want to spend time with me, perhaps on this special occasion which was the valentine. So that what was I’d been thinking. Aha. Don’t you think I’d been overreacted?

Well we did spent time together, from AM to PM. I enjoyed every tick of it. And my heart sung “A-ling, A-ling, ling-A-ling, A-ling”. I’ll treasure it as I’m writing it now.

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13 March -- conflict

Things were getting slow. Both knew, it will not work between us, yet both were to egoistic to say it out loud. – Nothing much can be shared, and argument start to spark. Morale were down, cupid had to resign, and no more enthusiasm for companion.

As found and lost box were the initiative for finding and losing, here it is, the ended relationship throw in the box. A way it must be returned to the real owner.

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30 June – Missing
As weird as it might sound, I am starting to miss the stranger. The stranger put me back into my perspective, and I have no regret knowing the stranger. Yet I knew, it was my decision to protect my world from shatter, and its hush and rush. For better than worst; it must be done, and I’m letting the stranger go.

The only thing remains now is, “his in silhouette”
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I’d learnt from washing dirty laundries

Diva off! It’s either you or I stepped down from that pole or neither one will be standing...lately I’d been wrapped by the feeling of overthrown or is it just hormone that boost at this time of age, and you know what, I just can’t figure it for myself!

Or maybe it’s right to have such feeling, because I noticed that one moment that I was thinking, and one moment that I blinked twice...which, that couldn’t be a bad sign, right? Even worst, hope it’s not a bad omen. I’d been struggling to keep myself in one piece, I mean with all of the dramas as my daily supplement, and facts that “I bite too much than I can chew” as a wakeup calls. Everything is not all right for me, -- I don’t really in a circle of friends, and I know at all time I’m not the favourite on the menu, includes by the end of this year, higher possibility that I’m contributing much percentage to the unemployment rates. Well, this is not the thing that normal person will put in their wish lists, right? I mean what can be better when you secure a job, with demanding pay off, living it like New York styles, and laughing at everyone’s dirty laundries?

Yes, at this age it’s devastating and pulling me off to drown... I’m not expecting that you’ll understand enough what I’d been through for the past of five years of my life after graduating. Top of my wish lists is to just secure a juicy career, promising growth...personal growth, and many growths.

As I’m writing, I’m employed with contract which I just can’t foresee where the trail leads will. I’m writing out of my frustration, and I promise this is not to vent for channelling feelings, but hey, this one inspired me, at least!
Okay, I might feel relief for a little for while without taking any pills prescribe for joy, so I guess I call the night a day off! So I’ll write when I feel to write and I found something interesting to write about.

We might be individual, distinguish regardless our unique thumbprints, therefore we do still have something in common despites of physical appearance, culture, preferences, and one thing for sure that the most commonest things that we share on this world, is s.e.c.r.e.t!!

Xoxo...Danielle Assiaticca

Higher with a sip

Feeling nauseas today! Halloo~ put a ring on me and I’ll insert the smiling chip back...bringing back the memories by thoughts we knowing someone is painful enough, maybe aspirin would lighten the headache...O.M.G! Nauseas...

Having sip of my cigar & then come to me a thought, -- why should I keep my world so wide that I can’t even to travel in it, and why don’t we make a short trip, way that we can drop and sight-seeing? This thought brings me up to a new level into looking for a new start of relationship... And by any means, relationship was meant to be mess up, if you’re someone that willing to take the risks of thrills. I am so a big fans of dramas. Here again I’m writing things that most matter for me, which is relationship. By definition; it can be any related-chain; verbally or not so verbal that you’re having with someone, regardless casual or not.

When I was a little bit high, sipping and exhale the addiction; I’d determine to keep my world limited, a special edition one. So I’m going to take advice from one of my friend “keep your contact limited, at the end of the day, only few who really care on what a wonderful world you’re having” Yes! And I’m surely will go for that... Thanks for waking me up!

Hye biatches! Swallow this and no apologies for you if I’ll never update or catch up any updates with you to-date! You should feel sorry for yourself, don’t you think? By the way, secret won’t die, but relationship will and does.


Xoxo...Danielle Assiaticca

Therefore it’s to inspire only me. At least!

Life is all about subjective, unpredictable.—we throw darts on blindfold, anyone agree? Raise your eyebrows! Ahahah... yet, life run itself in clockwise; that we will never hold the upper power to stop at a second. It’s a journey, a mission, and a move on process. We, by conscious or not, tend to make life more objectivity. As I learnt today, some make clearer to their life by owning an adjoin boundaries or territories; some happen to live on legacy; and by all means of  honoured, our life seems similar to animal kingdom, by hierarchy - the strongest lead, the weaker always follow. How sweet can it be on how universe works, isn’t it?

At the end of the day, it does always settle a question and an answer to us – will I just let life passing by? -- I’d been given chance to at least breath my own air, to do things at my own pace, to make my own history and discover mystery...And of course for sure, I will not let others to share or to have it all.

Easy talking than doing, Mine; I can say it’s on the edge, roller coasting. I have decided to write another blog with different theme which conjure associatively with “pillow talk, chalk & rain check”. This might be a baby step, but I can see a mileage to run, or maybe walk.

“Pillow talk, chalk & rain check” – triggered by the most recent activities that I own now, a practice of becoming a socialite, an exercise to interpret and getting the right cues.  “Pillow talk, chalk & rain check” is a blog that will write about real life dramas, conspiracy and obviously it’s real, - without mentioning any individuals. By purpose, it’s not for selling, not for counter back, or not to vent any dissatisfaction, therefore it’s to inspire only me. At least!

by Danielle Assiaticca